Memories of our brother Dave

Created by Christine 6 months ago

Anthony David Joy, our brother Dave, was born on the 9th of January 1958 which made him 2 years and 2 days younger than Chris. Our family was completed when Barry was born in August 1961.

Dad's family had been cowkeepers and dairymen in Garston, a suburb of Liverpool. By the time we three children came along, the cows had gone because their fields were needed for housing. However, Dad, his father and uncle were still delivering milk in horse drawn vehicles based at the family dairy. Mum used to joke that all her children were the milkman's! The stables and shippon at the dairy were like an adventure playground for the three of us and we loved spending time there around the three carthorses, Danny, Rupert and Peggy. It was always a treat in the school holidays to be allowed to go on the milk round with Dad. As a boy, Dave wanted to follow in Dad's footsteps and deliver milk with the horses but times move on and that way of life came to an end. Looking back, we all realised how lucky we were to have had that kind of childhood.


As the older sister, Chris remembers having a pretty typical relationship with Dave growing up. One minute we’d be fighting, the next we’d be best of friends. Luckily, as adults, we dropped the fighting part and kept the friendship – this in spite of him supporting Everton and me supporting Liverpool. We had similar tastes in music and books. It was exciting growing up in the 60s with the 'Merseybeat' bands and singers on the TV and radio. Then we discovered rock, heavy metal, folk and classical music in the 70s. Dave introduced me to Deep Purple and Genesis, I introduced him to Simon & Garfunkel and Prokofiev. I have many happy memories of the wide variety of gigs and concerts we went to over the years.


As the younger brother, Barry remembers skimming stones with Dave on the River Wharfe near Grassington, running along stepping stones to Linton Falls and trying unsuccessfully to catch fish under the suspension bridge (or swing bridge as we called it) during our regular holidays in Yorkshire from where our strand of the Joy family originated. We stayed in a self-catering chalet complex which had a communal TV room, but instead of watching TV we would make use of a sofa as a trampoline to jump through the open window behind it onto the grass verge below!


From a young age Dave was interested in the natural world. He was a keen bird spotter and we both remember him memorising different birdsongs from a record we had. He would point out various birds or trees to us when on country holidays or walking in Delamere forest. It wasn't a surprise that his first job after college was as a country park ranger.


Dave was the Joy family genealogist. He spent years researching the family history and this led to more research into the history of urban cowkeepers and milk production. He found having a sister who worked in Liverpool Central Library a useful research tool! When he started writing after he retired, all this research came in very handy.


We loved our brother very much and will miss him always. We are very proud of him for many reasons. He packed a lot into his life. At the core he was a committed family man who loved being a husband, father and grandfather. He found his perfect partner in Jean and together they raised a loving, close knit family. We know he was extremely proud of all his children and their accomplishments. In recent years we had been so impressed by Dave's strength and resilience as he endured multiple, debilitating cancer treatments before his lymphoma finally went into complete remission. However, it may seem strange to say that out of all the things he accomplished in his life, we are most in awe of the way in which he left us. With his closest family around him, he held court from his hospital bed giving us an amazing, comforting, supportive last day together. It was truly a gift that we will never forget.